KIDS, who can understand these kids today?

Just came back from the shopping centre where I went to buy my ten year old a new back pack for school.  I was in the shop for about an hour when I found myself listening to the woman behind the counter tell me how her 15 year old son had dropped out of school and was not living at home because he had threatened his parents life!  Good heavens, this woman looked normal, seemed normal and yet were telling me a perfect stranger about the intimate family details of her life.  This left me thinking, well if she's having this conversation with me then there must be thousands of other parents in her position.

A few weeks ago I did a little research on the topic, by phoning the local police for some stats, it appears that violence is on the increase, vandalism is on the increase, kids left unattended walking the streets at night is on the increase, the papers say kids divorcing their parents, kids of 12 threatening their parents lives, kids dropping out of school, kids...........the list goes on and on.

Are all kids like this? No. How come some are some aren't?  What's the answer? Is there an answer? 

Once again I can only speak from experience, I have 3 children 8 grandchildren and 2 step children, in addition to helping bring up numerous other kids family and otherwise.  Now I certainly wasn't the best mother in the world when my kids were young, I was very strict and my values were set in steel.  My husband drank too much, and was at times quite abusive, mentally to the kids, yet somehow we ended up with 3 great human beings that we are extremely proud of.  Now in hindsight, I see how I could have done it even better and thank god, fate has given me the chance with my step family and grandchildren, although I am only 52, I have a flourishing family around me of young teenagers who are all NICE people. 

What do I mean by nice?  Well they respect their parents and teachers, they are kids, they don't go out boozing, or taking drugs, they go to school, do their homework and are thoughtful to others?  They are gentle souls; they are happy healthy teenagers, with dreams and ambitions. 

My children grew up on farms, so they had responsibilities, like feeding the chooks, pigs and getting in the fire wood.  Keep in mind this is some time back and in the Australian bush, but our kids had lots to do and lots to learn, like driving the farm truck as soon as they could see over the steering wheel so they could help feed the cows and sheep.  They learnt at an early age to use firearms safely and to know how to chop down a tree without killing someone or themselves.   They were somewhat isolated as the nearest farm was often miles away, and went to school by bus, so they were up early on the bus by 7 and home about 5 most of the time.   They were restricted to the television they watched; I wouldn't let them watch violent programs, and encouraged more cartoons and shows like the Brady Bunch. 

The next generation   My grandkids, who range from 15 years to 3 years old, do watch some more graphic television, and don't have the isolation my kids had, but still they have their responsibilities such as getting in the washing, feeding the dog, making their beds, etc etc.  What I see, is their parents teach them values, guide their growth by encouraging them in a realistic way, that for a start money doesn't grow on trees and you have to earn what you achieve in life.  They teach them to be responsible for their actions, to respect their elders and other kids, they teach them to sort out problems before they get into mountains, they give them love and encouragement, building their self esteem and confidence.   They eat regular meals, good food, and learn to cook and do house hold chores, they have responsibilities, and are guided, rather than controlled.

Their parents are good role models, all have career paths but never does their work come before their kid's best interest.  

I see kids with too much spare time on their hands, and too much $in their pocket. Most kids dont have chores to do, and sadly often just because the parent has given them a mobile phone to be able to call on, they are just let run loose.  I see parents taking the easy way out, by paying the kids fines, bills and continually picking up the peices after them.

I can hear everyone screaming at this time, but no - don't do that, and yet the kids are right off the rails.  Sometimes this is true, but underneath there is a reason, something within the kid not being met that pre-empts that opportunity for the kid to run wild.

Some factors that are changing our kids are things like;

 Media:  In my personal opinion, kids experience far too much violence on TV, video games and media in general. My theory is that over a period of time kids become desensitized and can't separate fantasy from reality!  They are young minds which are extremely impressionable.   Just look at the percentage of video games which teach the kids to kill?  In my personal opinion this is madness, to the extreme.   What ever happened to kids having fun as kids, kicking a ball around, riding BMX bikes and learning how to cook dinner and do other practical things which will enhance their lives.   

For example what ever happened to domestic science at school?  So many kids don't have a clue when it comes to hygiene and house hold skills these days.  We have created this disposable world where everything is at your finger tips, and instant gratification is seen as the norm and a kid wants a new car for their 17th birthday and often gets it!  Magazines promote it, media advertises it, the emotional hype drives the desire and the urgency to achieve it, any way they can.   more in part .2.