A TRUE STORY:  

It’s the middle of summer here in Queensland and we sure have had a humidity that is enough to knock an elephant off its feet.  Earlier in the summer I had thought about buying a season pass for the local community swimming pool, but had in the next breath thought no we can’t really afford that. I should have realized what I was putting into motion with those thoughts. It was Saturday morning when the temperatures once again soared to the high thirties I phoned my sister and asked if she would mind us all coming over to sit in her pool.  Of course the mandatory, “have you put on your sun screen?” questions were asked of my little boy, and off we set.  

The following day ~ Sunday began just like Saturday, and we all shuffled from one area of the house to another into the back yard and back again looking for some reprieve from the oppressive intense heat, when I finally gave up trying to find a cool spot and began working on the computer determined to ignore my frustrations and the stifling heat and get my mind on something more constructive.   I had been writing for about an hour or so, when my son decided he was determined to get my attention away from the computer.  First he started complaining that his shoulder hurt when he scrunched his shoulders backward or reached over his head in a strange way.  Firstly I was a little annoyed as I had been trying to get the darn computer program do something it just didn't seem to want to do, and it was taking the whole of my attention and I didn't want to be disturbed.  However here beside me was a forlorn looking little face, wriggling his shoulders saying, but it hurts when I do this……

The penny dropped, and I began to laugh, “Well J, then don’t do that, it’s that simple.” J looked at me stunned, scratched his head and then went on to protest, “but my shoulders hurt when I do it,” I calmly repeated, “well don’t do it then,” He looked into my eyes and began to smile, you see it was just his sunburn that was causing his discomfort and he knew it was his responsibility to put his sun screen on the day before.  But the  big EUREKA for me was that I didn’t really want to be working on the computer, and no wonder the program was acting up, it was the absolute manifestation of my frustration my energy was off because I was so busy just trying to do something, anything to get my mind off of the heat.  I did not listen to my joy; if I had I thought ~ right now I would be sitting in a swimming pool cooling off instead of soldiering on and slogging away at the computer.  

Life’s like that!Often in life we ignore the warning signs, we get jittery, we become reflective, we get frustrated, we know things aren’t right, yet we still keep pushing ourselves, we moan and groan and keep complaining, and then the next day or the day after, were full of still more complaints and frustrations.  Sometimes we turn to a friend or relative asking advice, wanting someone else to fix the mess we have gotten ourselves into.  Then we wonder why the universe sees fit to keep giving us more of the same ~ like attracts like.   The moment we stop feeling good about something is the time to listen to our intuition and in doing so set our minds to find what we like about that situation and keep the energy moving in a positive way or stop doing it ~ and its that simple.  Like attracts like, and it is a fact of life however that sometimes we must do things and jobs that aren’t particularly exciting or fulfilling, but if we can do these jobs with the right attitude and energy then we will surely attract to us something that will be more in harmony with what we want. 

The obstacles to us attracting good experiences are caused through complaining and being angry about our situation.  If you want something to stop being in your life, to stop being apart of your experience then you must focus on what you do want and back that up by the emotional energy of positive thought towards the very thing you want to experience.  

When the answer is simple, if you know that continually ignoring your intuition and complaining and getting depressed and frustrated is going to cause you grief, don’t do it   And that means One of the most profound truths I have learnt this life time is TRUTH has a way of rising to the surface, if you lie, someone will find out, if you cheat, someone will find out, if you try to manipulate others, someone will find out, so if you don’t do anything that goes against common sense, your moral values and principles, then – your more likely to sleep soundly at night and don’t live your life dealing with the pain of yesterdays regrets!   

Think only of good thoughts, fill your life to the brim with positive images of what you want to experience and how you want to feel about those experiences and the universe will be only too happy to deliver.  Change  you mind and change your world!

Stretching our boundaries isn’t always easy, the main reason is we only know what we know, and humans are creatures of habits.  To change life circumstances, to step outside of our comfort square is somewhat unnerving for most people.   Generally life has to “toss” us into the deep end in order to expand our perception and develop our skills in life.   Its amazing how many people say they just want a quiet life, and there is nothing wrong with that, the thing to remember however is, that if we are not learning, if we are not developing new skills, if we are not living life, we can become bored and in a sense separated from the very essence of spiritual energy, which is experienced through the feelings of “joy – excitement – love – happiness – and well being.”   So sometimes, life hands us a huge “toss,” in order to make us get out of complacency.   

For some people without the provocation of things appearing to go badly, most would never dare to explore their potential, and the vast dimensions of unexplored possibilities would never be discovered and our spirit would lay dormant, boredom taking over and complacency prevailing bringing with it the experience of ~ sadness – anger – depression – poverty and resentment.

 

 

Every human being has a need to grow and expand in conscious awareness, some taking huge steps others small, the size irrelevant, the desire however lies within us all to move towards a better daily life experience.   I believe that most of the experiences I have had in my life time have been in the long term positive, the hardships have provoked me to rise above the limits of education, finances and the fear of standing in my power as a woman who is committed to making a difference.  How do you “Choose,” to think upon your life experience?     The only difference between success and failure is that to achieve success you never give up; you keep trying exploring, extending, learning, developing, believing.  Where people who experience failure, experience the defeat predominately within their thinking.  Just because something didn’t quite work out how you thought it would, does not mean you have failed.   “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” “It’s better to have tried than never to have tried at all.”   Right at this moment in time you have a choice, you can look for the good that has come out of every situation in your life, or you can focus on the bad.  Right at this moment in your life you can   A matter of perception: Right at this moment you may not feel abundantly wealthy, but to a child from Africa, your life would appear to be one of immense wealth. 

Life’s Boundaries. 

Each of us lives life in small selective secure environments, the size dependent upon our experiences, perception of ourselves and our capabilities.  Our boundaries are the invisible lines, which produce a sense of inner security. Whenever we are challenged to extend our selves over these invisible lines we naturally interpret the experience as a feeling of fear. 

Remember the first time you rode a push bike, or got on a buss by you, or went for a job interview. Humans have a natural tendency to be afraid of the unknown.  A good example of this is to get on an airplane for the first time, for many these is a terrifying experience.   So why do we give ourselves such a hard time over feeling this way? 

If fear is a natural state when experiencing something new or unknown, why do we think it a quality to be ashamed of? 

 

Stretching our boundaries reminds us that there are millions of experiences out there of which we have no practical experiential knowledge. Vulnerability comes to the fore, of our lack of confidence in an unknown situation often ultimately leaves us shaking and quaking in fear of being thrust into the unknown and our minds throwing in every negative self diminishing thought it can find. However it’s stepping into the unknown which challenges us to think positive, while expanding our experience of our world in turn provoking us to live our lives to the fullest. Everything we do requires we face some form of apprehension or resistance to the growth that is natural. 

For some people it’s more than for other people, for example one person may be absolutely terrified of riding a horse, and not even want to try, while another person may be afraid but desperately want to have a go. We are all individuals in what we experience.  There is a great book that has been out for years called, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” If you have big issues with boundaries and trying new things I suggest you read this book. It will definitely help. 

Stretching our boundaries reminds us that there are millions of experiences out there of which we have no practical experiential knowledge. Vulnerability comes to the fore, of our lack of confidence in an unknown situation often ultimately leaves us shaking and quaking in fear of being thrust into the unknown and our minds throwing in every negative self diminishing thought it can find.

However it’s stepping into the unknown which challenges us, and the best way to negotiate the passage is to think positive, while expanding our experience of our world in turn provoking us to live our lives to the fullest. Everything we do requires we face some form of apprehension or resistance to the growth that is natural.  For some people it’s more than for others  for example one person may be absolutely terrified of riding a horse, and not even want to try, while another person may be afraid but desperately want to have a go. 

We are all individuals in the way we interpret what we experience, change is scary, very scary and often we put of change for a long time till finally the pain of staying where we are is so great we are forced to face the illusion of our fear, and in doing so gain freedom, freedom to be ourselves and freedom from suffering.

 

Children learn what they live!

If a parent is too busy and too tired to give the child attention and respect then the child will rebel. If a Childs main source of input is the television set, what do you think they will learn?

Today in most families both parents work, both are usually stressed, and preoccupied with the new car they want to buy or the paying of the bills to really give children what they need.

So many times I have seen and heard parents say to kids, just go away while I have a drink, do what you want.  I have seen this with parents of kids just 3 years old, and then they wonder why the child then becomes out of control by the age of 5.  What sort of a future will that child have?   The Likely hood of by 15 being pregnant or in trouble with the police or both is extremely high.

Common Sense

These days I get an every day opportunity to put the years of research and insight in action with my ten year old son.   He is only ten; however, this is an average conversation with him.

I talk with him, if he does something stupid like tell a lie, I just ask him. "Do you think that was a smart thing to do?" nine times out of ten he answers, "No."  Then why did you do it," I ask "I don't know, I felt like it."  "How do you think that's going to affect .,,,,,,?"  "They aren't going to be happy," he says, "Do you like it when people tell you a lie?"  I ask.  "No," he answers. "That's right, now what should you have done?"  "I should have had the courage to tell the truth."  He answers.  "That's right, always being honest, and people will respect you. You don't like it when someone does that to you so, don't do it to other people."  

Insight common sense dos and don'ts;

If you want happy healthy kids then try to have at least one parent home, when the kids are home, or have them well supervised! Remember kids do learn what they live! Clean up your own act, think about how we talk to each other, our kids copy everything about us, in one way or another, they copy how we treat - speak to and relate to the society we live in.  

Understand that everything we do has a direct impact on how our children will learn to relate to others. If our kids hear us scheming to cheat - lie - do the wrong thing, don't you think they will automatically assume its ok to do the same?  

Don't tell kids what to do!     Involve the kids from an early age and encourage them to think about the decisions they make and to tell you what they see as the results of their decisions and how they could have done it better.  Help the kids to develop their thinking capacity, help them to explore the ramifications of their actions and choices. 

Bad Kids?

It's very rare to find a bad kid; most are just the product of our society, our values (or lack of), our interactions or our neglect.  So if your having problems with your kids, look honestly in the mirror, and see where you gave too much or too little, where you didnt have time, or didnt have the values, then let it go, and make the choice to do it better from here on.  OUR KIDS DO LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE!  If a child has a low tollerence threshold when it comes to coping, there will be problems.  Children can learn to develop Emotional Intelligence at an early age, life does not have to be all drama and hormones flying about.

I don't believe any of us intentionally set out to create problem kids, its just something that happens because most people don't think about it, they try to raise the kids by control, rather than teaching them to think - and use common sense.   The biggest problem is we arent born with a how too manual. Life is about learning, its about trial and error, it's about never ever giving up - it's never too late to help kids grow into responcibe fantastic people.  Life is like a Garden it sometimes takes alot of effort, constant attention, lots of fertilizer and good conditions to have a bumper crop.  And the truth of the matter is that sometimes the parents need just as much help as the kids.

 REMEBER: It's not what happens to you in life that counts, its how you deal with it - will you react - will you explode in a frustrated ball of anger or - will you choose to do it differently - its your choice.