100's Articles
Do you trust yourself implicitly? Think on it for a moment. Girls when you buy that new dress and your sister, or mother, or lover says, “I don’t like that on you,” How do you feel, do you take a second look in the mirror and think, well its not as nice as I first thought! And then you take the dress off and throw it in the corner feeling disgruntled and wishing they had never made the comment. Somewhere deep inside you, you blame them for putting the doubt in you mind, but let me tell you a secret…. “The doubt was there all the time, they didn’t put it there, it has been there all your life, just waiting for you to one day realize it is the phantom that keeps all your hopes and dreams and plans from manifesting.” What ever experiences we create in our lives, they come because we think in a certain way, poverty is the end result of thinking in a certain way, wealth is the result of thinking in a certain way, the key here is that “That certain way, can be changed through becoming aware, and making choices we can move from poverty to wealth simply by an adjustment in the way we think. The most profound thing I have ever found is that when something is based upon TRUTH. Absolute truth is always supportive to give us an abundant life. Its only things we have learned to think of as true that are in fact not true that create the poverty and struggle in our lives. Lets do a different scenario, a man who wants to make his living as a singer, his family think he is crazy and should go to university, but he has a positive image of his life and who he is and what he wants to become, somewhere in his soul, he knows he was born to be a star, and he is a star, and he does not need anyone’s approval to be a star. In his mind he is already there, and so he just goes about his way, learning to hone his skills with music, singing to anyone who will listen whether they think he is good or not is not important, what is important is the love he has for his music, and the rock solid belief he has that he is unique and he was born to sing. No matter what challenge arises, he just thinks well how can I get through that, and what can I do? His focus is on what is good, what he has, what he wants, he has no time for thoughts of failure, in his mind that just does not exist. When asked how come he became a star, his answer is, I just knew I could, and it’s that simple. You see one of the hardest things for people like you and me to understand is the absolute truth that, “when we think thoughts that are full of doubt and self abuse, they will manifests their self as obstacles in our lives ,these obstacles which we then must overcome!” Self doubt is not based upon truth! It’s a lie someone has taught you to believe as the truth about who you are! The challenges in life will keep coming thick and fast, until you believe in yourself, you know of whom you are shines so brightly that your future can’t help but instantly manifest. If you can grasp what I have said in that last paragraph, your life will be instantly transformed. What does this have to do with Grief/rejection you might ask? Well let me explain, in childhood often we are wounded by events, comments of thoughtless people, things beyond our control, teachers, poverty, embarrassment, rejected love, abandonment, abuse and the list goes on. Many psychologist and psychiatrists believe that our lives are formed in the first 6 years of life, those early years place the first wounds on the psyche, the limits of perception that for the rest of our lives we battle to overcome. The Grief/rejection of the first wound, the rejection grief of a disgruntled father telling you to go and take off your mothers shoes before you break your neck when you thought you looked so beautiful, the first wound of a parent who didn’t have time to give you a hug when you felt insecure, simply because they were too preoccupied, they never knew you perceived that as an ultimate rejection, and instantly became unsure of who you were in the world. Grief/rejection has many forms, subtle forms, and not so subtle forms, it can hit us like a buss, or it can haunt us like a phantom creating bad relationships and unnecessary challenges, that have us feeling like we are cursed or just plain and simple dumb or no good. The events of our lives do color our thoughts and how we think in a certain way is derived from those experiences and thoughts. The Question: I want to put something to you right now; I want to ask you to think in a different paradigm. If you had an identical twin, brought up in the exact same circumstances chances are you would still live completely different lives, have you ever thought about things like this? Have you ever questioned why your brother or sister of best friend has become financially and emotionally successful and you haven’t? After all they live in the same neighborhood, attended the same school, you may have had the same parents? But why is it that ones persons life can be so far removed from that of another, when you had the same background, same financial opportunities, same schooling? You may say it’s just personality differences, you may even say its luck but I want to share something with you that will change your life, its none of the above, the difference is how we think! That’s right, the difference is how we perceive and process the information in our minds and this is what creates our lives, it even creates our health, our financial success and ultimately the life we lead. The life you are living right now, right this instant is the direct results of how you have perceived and responded to life and its challenges, I know most people don’t want to think about that, they immediately feel overwhelmed and confused, and may even react badly to what I have just said, but that doesn’t matter, in fact if you have a gut reaction of any sort to my words, that is good. That means I am stirring something inside you to seek further knowledge of how to manifest the life you want, rather than the life you have. While ever we are unclear of our own motivation, unclear of our own sense of uniqueness and destiny, life will keep presenting challenges that will require us to get honest – to look inside our hearts minds and sometimes even reach deep into our souls to find our truth. Healing our lives means we need to not only change our thinking, but understand how our emotional reaction and perception of events will always dictate the end result which is our life experience. That means we have to untangle the subtle mental associations that are the result of every incident that has caused us grief in our long and lonely lives. I have a free 38 minute Audio Mediation online for you to use to help you overcome this. TRUE WEALTH. The very first thing you need to understand is that, “Thought is substance, and this substance, projects into our reality, creating our lives to be what ever we need them to be in order that one day, one day we reach a point inside of our selves that we truly understand that we are the creators of our life experience and that experience is all the result of our alignment with our reality core – that sense of being clear – having no doubt – and being uniquely individual. When you can perceive that every soul on earth is uniquely individual, you instantly are free from the expectations of what and who you think you should be. All of the people in the world who have achieved a standard of excellence all have no doubt – people like Bill Gates, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Eleanor Roosevelt, Einstein, Stephen Hawking, people who have achieved the impossible all knew their own potential long before the world acknowledged it. Why would you want to stay trapped in someone else’s life? Why would you set the standards of what you can achieve for your life based upon someone else who has a mediocre life? Why do you believe you are worth less than having all that you desire? Well right now I feel I have moved a little a head of myself, and you might say what has any of this to do with starting over? What has all this got to do with the fact that my husband just left me and I have no money to pay the rent and feed the kids? Well it has plenty to do with it! If you believe no one will give you a job – you can bet the universe will accommodate you and make it dam hard for you to find a job, but may be, just maybe you are really like that artist and don’t want a job, you want to be a famous artist, but don’t believe you really can be? Is that true? Do you see what I am getting at here? Often the reason we end up in situations that fall apart is that we shouldn’t have been there in the first place, but we are there because we were emotionally needy, or driven by our sexual desires, or wanted someone just to take care of us?I just want to clarify here before I upset a few people, that someone dying suddenly does not come into this category, but still if you have lost someone who has been a major part of your life, you still have to find a way to start living again, or you will be more dead than the person who has in fact died!
This means you have to change. Is change good or bad? Who knows, every day of our lives is just an accumulation of seconds, and how we perceive those seconds and the choices we make depend upon the information we have at hand. I tend to be a believer in destiny, I believe no matter what path we take in life we grow, sometimes our choices make our path a harder climb but then I believe somewhere inside of our selves, if we face the challenges with the right attitude then we become stronger people and wiser for the experience.
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It was July 2002, I had half woken from sleep, and my mind was flashing here, flashing there, pictures, sounds, all so real, all so intense, a kaleidoscope of extra sensory information. Every day begins like this for me, I always get a prelude to what the day will bring, but lately I had found myself more and more questioning what is it that governs our lives and how our life experience manifests, for example why life appears blessed for some and not for others. Flashes kept filling my mind; I could hear the vices of people talking almost as though I were being observed by a room full of people. My vision would fill and clear over and over showing me places that in this life I have not been. I am aware that my mind is still in deep Theta and yet I can bring to my awareness the insights running strong from my truth, from my inner knowing. Its like I am in a space of all knowing, all seeing as I catch glimpses, real life glimpses of what I know to be the truth, but how can I put this in words how can I explain these are my thoughts. It’s like dozens of life times have flooded into this life, so much information, so much insight, so much wisdom.
Most of my life I feel I have been looking for answers, putting together some giant jigsaw puzzle of the universe and how it works, someone once told me I seek “the wisdom of Solomon” and right now I would not be surprised if that were in fact true. I feel as though I am bringing knowledge from another time and place, knowledge of true magic, the magic of how emotions and thoughts create and influence our lives. Even as a child, I knew that in our minds have capability and potential far beyond our comprehension. Scientists still know so little about the true workings of the brain, and even more of a mystery is the subject of Mind and Sprit. I have always been intrigued at the fact we have this immense power house of ability to heal our bodies, to heal our lives, to create such a wonderful abundance that there are no limits except those we place upon our selves. So if all that I say is true, then why is it so difficult to align with that flow of energy? Why don’t people create better lives more easily?
What is it that keeps most of us floundering like fish in the puddles of an outgoing tide? Many of you would have read Book of Choices my biography, and no doubt would be able to relate to so much of that book that it will leave you with your head spinning, and yet even though it will reinforce your self worth and reconnect you with some simple plain truths it will not fully give you the answer to what you were seeking when you bought it. For at the end of that book I still did not fully comprehend the extent of the journey and the mass of knowledge that I have assimilated into my life and the teachings of today.
Yet, today just started like any other day, only one thing would be different today and after today life would never be the same. The final piece of the puzzle would fall into place and finally it would all come together, and it would be today the puzzle would be solved, finally I would truly understand “the meaning of life.” And unlike Monty Python in the movie the meaning of life, I would remember the question that bought the answer. EUREKA I’ve got it!What were the thoughts that you were thinking that bought you here? If I could place a tape recorder in your pocket to record every thought you had today, every thought I wonder what it would tell me about you and how you think. What astounding realizations we would all have if only our internal thoughts could be monitored and played back to us so we could view them from a different perspective. Would you be astounded at the disempowering dribble you keep telling yourself? Or, would you be happy with the fact your thinking totally supports and honors your life and your dreams? What changes would we make to our internal vocabulary then? If you want to play with this exercise, I can assure you that you will be astounded at what you learn about yourself. All you need to do is simply put the book down for the day, grab a tape recorder and go for it, record “every thought” that comes into your mind, even if you just do it for a couple of hours and you will be astounded at what you realize when you play the tape back to yourself. This is taking self awareness to the extreme, I know and a bit bizarre, but good just for a bit of illuminating fun. You see many of the problems we have or that we manifest in our lives are due to not only not listening to our intuition but also the fact we talk to our selves and think in patterns which don’t support our ability to create an abundant wealthy life. How many times do you get the inspiration to do something, only to almost instantly reject the thought with “no I can’t do that, what would people think?”
Often the thoughts in our heads are just like old tapes playing in the background and those tapes reinforce all the things we don’t want in our lives and every doubt we could possibly invent to keep us feeling so tiny that we are so limited in our energy that we are kept captive of our beliefs about the world. If I could wave a magic wand, and all your past disappeared, in a flash of light, and you were now programmed with only empowering statements full of self belief combined with an attitude that supports you to love everything you do because you inherently see how what you do benefits everyone around you, how much do you think your world would change? Right now you are probably thinking this woman is so far out in left field that no wonder she is happy, her reality is so far from this reality that it’s totally unrealistic, but wait. I want you to consider this for a moment; Two children grow up in the same street, with parents who work at the same company coming from the same background, having the same schooling, sharing the same games and sports, every influencing factor is exactly the same. Why it is these two people can have such totally different outcomes to their lives. They are both good hearted people, their circumstances have been identical; they have had the same opportunities, the same education and the same experiences. How come one of the children grew up to become a millionaire and the other lives on a government support pension?
What is the factor that decreed that one of have it all and the other just equally a good person, has nothing to speak of as far as material wealth?Right through this book I will share with you my thoughts and insights into how you can successfully and swiftly move from being a have not to a have, from lack to luck and from struggle to abundance. Your wealth is only a thought away, and as in the old scriptures, “Ask and it shall be given unto you, the kingdom of God is within.” People are strangely comfortable with struggle, as in some bizarre way they would rather blame fate or luck or circumstances out of their control for their poverty stricken and painful lives. We constantly fight fate when it tries to keep us safe; we have developed this behavior where we know better, we get stressed when we are caught at traffic, because we will be late, when in fact that red light could have just saved your life.
We fight to keep relationships going when we know they are not good for us, and then we scream when the person hurts us again, or our lives don’t happen the way we want. Human beings aren’t very self-honest in most cases, and this is because we don’t understand our motivation. We can’t tell the difference between fear that is real and fear that is from paranoia? We have lost the sense of self that can keep us on a steady keel and more than that we have begun to buy into thinking in terms of lack and terms of helplessness when in fact this is not the truth of whom or what we are, and that is a big part of the problem. I want you to imagine you’re self in a ball of energy, see it in your mind clear and strong. This ball is your universe it is all the energy you will ever have. There is no more, just this!Now, imagine in your mind what you want to fill that space of energy, how are your thoughts filling that space? Are you filling it with positive affirmations of you love and wealth of life?Or are you filling it with thoughts about what you don’t have and what you don’t like?It really makes you think doesn’t it? What if that scenario is true, and you without knowing it have been struggling to achieve and create wealth and yet totally disempowering your efforts with you thoughts about lack or loss or what you don’t want? Could it be that simple?
Could it be that we all have the power to create absolute abundant lives provided we discover the secret of thinking only in a certain way? Get a note book, or diary, and I want you to think back to something specific you wanted in your life, and I want you to write the incident down; write what you felt and as much of what you thought as you could, hindsight always has 20.x.20 vision. Be honest, no one else has to know this is an exercise for you. When events impact upon our lives, often our lives are forced to change direction, we are forced to make CHOICES. A wife killed in a car smash, a child who never comes home from school, being told you have a terminal illness, or finding out your marriage is over or that someone you have trusted, should never have been trusted. You may question right now yes, but how could I have created that into my life? Fate deals sometimes unjust cards to us all at different times in our lives, so how do we as individuals survive such horrendous onslaughts? Do we curl up in the corner, crying and screaming how unjust it all is, or, do we pick up the pieces and put our lives hearts and souls back together when the foundations of our world have just been torn apart? Some of the most magnificent tools for healing are the result of individuals having the strength of purpose to rise above the challenge, and the certain way of thinking to bring goodness out of tragedy. Some say that difficulties in life are a part of our spiritual progression into wisdom, and that by growing in understanding many of the difficulties can be avoided.
It is true that many of the situations I have encountered in my life have actually been other peoples problems, that I have become unwittingly involved in. The big question is however, how do you regain balance and get life back on track after suffering a huge shock or set back? What do you do when emotions are chewing up your insides, tearing at your heart? How do we make those wise choices that bring back our personal power and sense of balance? How can our internal dialogue help us anchor to our strength and support us to rise above the challenge life has presented. In relation to grief, then the first acknowledgement to yourself is that healing takes time, your life is not going to get better overnight and believe me its not healthy if it does! One day however, you will be ready to heal your life and you will be ready to move past the past and live a full life once more. It may not be today, but that day will come, just as surely as the sun rises, so we have the choice to gently rebuild our lives using our greatest asset to support the journey.
When the body or psyche is influenced by shock the first best possible recourse is to minimize the traumatic discussions and to find ways to soothe and re-establish foundations which support your basic life structure. Be careful not to have unrealistic expectations of your self, first simply take time to feel, and then be sure you keep your thinking in a certain way that will support you rather than make you a victim of life. Avoid getting into space of, “why me,” instead keep your focus as strongly as you can on thoughts which help redefine your strength and faith that attunes us to bringing all the help we need right into our lives, use the law of attraction. By being thankful for the love and support of others, it will bring more love and support into your life. This is the universal law of attraction in its omnipotent omnipresent absolute truth. Well I suppose the ultimate point is have you felt enough pain to be willing to look, to ask, to seek understanding, and for some of you, you will say no, others you will say well maybe this woman has something she can help me understand. May be she can help me restore the balance and start over to get my life back to the point where I stop grieving and start living and feeling and loving again. We are going to go over some basic ground in this short book, you wont find all your answers here but you will find food for thought, that I can guarantee. Firstly I want you to ask yourself what drives your decision making.
How much do you know about what makes you – you? How aware are you of the fact that self trust entwined with your view of the world can either make or break you life! So if you don’t trust yourself, if you are constantly looking for the advice and approval of other people, then your life surely is not your own, and if your life is not your own, then there is no way you can manifest a balanced healthy life experience in this world. Your perception of events plays a major role in how you feel about yourself and the internal levels of self trust. And ultimately our self trust is the fuel of our internal thought process. Remember to think and manifest abundance you must learn to think in a certain way that empowers your life to create a wonderful life.
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New Day New Life – Starting Over. I wanted to have a life, I wanted to start again and wished I could just wipe the slate clean, but I didn’t know where to begin. I don’t believe I had the luxury of time because I felt I was getting older. There were days that I felt it was all too hard and I don’t know where to start. So how did I keep going? Where did I begin again without getting into all the unnecessary stuff, you know the new age, self-analysis and soul searching regurgitating the past crap. I wanted to use my knowledge to create something new, something practical and easy, something that would easily help others to also put life back together, but not only that, I wanted to help people create a wealthy life. A life empowered by their thinking and totally aligned to the law of Attraction. How many of you can say that at some time in your life you have just wanted to leave it all behind, and cut to the chase and move ahead without all the baggage? How often have you wondered why other people have what appears to be incredible luck, while you struggle and stress over every penny? Well what can you do about it?
What can you do to change and reinvent your life right down to the core of who you are and what you do and how you live? If you could do anything right now, if money, and health were not a problem what would you do? How would life be for you? What would you be doing? Who would you be? How would you be living? Do you know where you’re going to, do you like the things that life is showing you, where are you going to? Can you see your perfect life in your mind? If you can well what is it that stops it from magically appearing? “Well why aren’t you doing it?” Now don’t tell me it’s because you don’t have the money, or the time, or that your obligations get in the way, all that stuff is just excuses.
Starting over begins first with the desire to create a better life, second with the belief you can and third with one tiny step at a time and of course the right knowledge of how to make it happen. Right now, right at this moment, you can begin, beginning again! There is nothing stopping you from finding out information, putting your make up on, calling a friend, making a plan, and taking action to follow that plan. Our problems begin when we are unsure of what we want and who we want to be, and the biggest problems is that the way we are educated today does not support any belief that our thinking has anything to do with having a good life. Society is only too ready to tell you that all this Law of Attraction stuff is gibberish, that it’s for fools and the naïve, and society only tells you that because the majority of wealth in this world is owned by the minority of people, and most of our advice comes from the majority. So if you break that last paragraph down into practical thoughts, “you have people who aren’t particularly rich telling you how to become rich!” What a laugh.
Did you know that 98% of the wealth of the world is owned by 2% of the population? Well what is it that they do? What is it that allows and supports everything they do to turn to gold? Well that’s what I am here to share with you, and it’s simple, so simple that most people fail to see the magic of it. First I want to ask you what is “WEALTH,” what does being wealthy mean to you? Is it a million or two in the bank, or is it having a quality of life in every aspect of your life? How would you define it in your life; stop and think for a moment as it is very important that you realize that to have lots of money does not necessarily equate to being wealthy ~ how many people do you know who have lots of money and are miserable? I know quite a few. Is that how you want life to be? Most probably not, so with that in mind, we need to develop an image, but not just an image we want a holistic wealth image. An image of WEALTH that the mind does not reject, an image that supports you to know its ok to be wealthy, because to be wealthy means health, wealth and happiness in every possible way. This book is not about looking at the things that are wrong in your life, quite to the contrary this book is aimed at encouraging you to use the Law of Attraction in its most powerful positive way, to draw into your life all the experiences you want. I want you to consider just for a moment, that it is possible that the way we think about what we experience in our lives just could be the very reason we have the experiences we have? I know that is sort of mind twisting, however just keep reading. How many times have you felt overwhelmed with bills and things going wrong, and no matter how hard you work or try, things just keep going wrong?
If I were to tell you now that I would show you a symbol of something to prove I am right what would you say? Well give it a go, I am willing to guarantee that within 48 hours of reading this paragraph, somehow you will receive or see a Big Red Rose and that is your sign that this book is exactly all I have said it is. Remember within 48 hours, a Red Rose! So I want you to close this book now, and then come back to it when you see the Rose, OK. No peeking now, you will spoil the experience, wait for the red rose, and then keep reading.
The Journey:
So your back, it’s good to see you ~ welcome to my world. Over the next few days were going to go on a journey, and that journey is going to free you from old patterns of thinking that keep you chained to a life that is tiny and full of suffering and sacrifice. How does that sound?
I am going to introduce you to the concept that is TRUITY ~ and how this concept works on the principle of truth and the law of attraction. What is truth, well that is self explanatory, it is the principle of absolute oneness with the energy which guides this universe of ours, energy that some call God, Allah, Buddha or whatever you want to call it, it’s all the same thing.
The law of Attraction; that is also simple but not so obviously clear to most people, so I will explain a little further. Do you remember when you were a child and you played with magnets, and how the magnets either pulled together or pulled apart, well that is the basis for the law of attraction. I want to explain it a little further though, because this is where people fall down in working with creating wonderful lives, they think they understand the law but don’t.
Firstly the Law of Attraction mean like attracts like ~ so if you’re happy you get happier, if you’re sad and dwelling your thoughts and emotions upon the sad then you will get sadder. It’s that simple. Where people don’t quite get it, is they try to say positive or think wealthy but feel destitute or poverty stricken in their hearts and wonder why they can not create the wealth they want. In this book we are going to go through the simple things that will challenge you to rise above the old habits of thinking tiny. We are going to look at how you can get relationships to work, luck to pour into your life and people and opportunities to just appear at your door. The very first thing I want you to understand is ~ what ever that you think about you will experience, so stop struggling worrying and giving yourself a hard time, ok. ~ you are safe and from this moment on struggle does not exist in your life. In the next few weeks we are going to replace struggle with reframing visualization and emotional synergy which will be followed by BFO’s (blinding flashes of the obvious) This is a process I call “Self Actualization.” I want to share with you how this book started, where it came from and how I have been divinely inspired to write it: When you ask for guidance and help it will come to you - maybe not in the way you expect, but it will come...
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Thoughts of Reflection:
Today the world’s sits on the edge of war, the small mindedness of man astounds me, as governments attempt to batter the opposition into submission. When will people realize that war is not solution? When will human beings as a global family make a commitment to stop the violence? I must admit that when I look back at my timing for this whole project I am a little bewildered by the series of events the coincidences, the timing – oh that word, timing.
I first began to notice the coincidences when the Princess of Wales was killed in that tragic car crash in Paris, although I am sure they began long before that day, however, that was the day I had my stroke, I lay unconscious for 26 hours and no one noticed.
Since then it’s been one bizarre coincidence after the other, for example last year we put in motion a huge mail out to promote our company, and the day it was timed to arrive in the mail Australia wide, the terrorists bombed the twin towers. We have had numerous publicity events clash with world events, and mysteriously had mail disappear for 9 months only to turn up after the event. Last week for example, we were to preparing to sign the financing contracts, and USA went to war again putting all of our plans to move ahead a hold. One can only avoid becoming paranoid for so long then one has to look at things and wonder what the hell is going on?
I once heard it said that each of us comes to our employment through our life experience and yes I must say that for me this surely is the case. Thirty years ago my life was one of total conflict – a war raged inside of me, one which tore apart my confidence, my life and my family constantly erupting in to violent outbursts simply as a result of the frustrations and the lack of choices perceived in my life. Thirty years ago I made a choice, and that was to use my passion for life and the love I felt for my family to find away to stop the violence! This is my story or part of it for to write it all I would have to write a book so large that no one would believe the experiences that it contained.
Do You Know Where You’re Going Too?
1994.
The early morning light filters through the curtains and I toss and turn in my bed. It has been another sleepless night and my body screams with pain as I attempt to move my aching limbs to climb from the sweaty tangled sheets. Sometimes I wonder if the aches and pains which accompanied my recent illness will ever go away; there are times when it feels as though they are etched so deep into my bones that they are as ancient as time itself. Not to worry, being ill has certainly given me time to think about the past and also prompted me to try to encapsulate all I have learned from my life experience this far.
With all my strength I struggle with the stiffness of my body as I lift my legs over the edge of the bed. God I hate being ill! I find myself moaning out loud as put my feet tentatively on the carpeted floor as I make a grab for my dressing gown lying beside me on the chair in a crumpled heap. These days I feel as though my body is something foreign, not at all like I used to be, agile, fit and strong as any man. I struggle to take a few clumsy steps and catch myself feeling almost dismayed at how I must appear, 42 years old and walking like I am 90. Somehow the scene brings to mind how it would have been to have had my feet bound, may be I had been a Chinese girl in another life, who knows? I grumble out loud to myself, trying to block the pain from my mind as I waddle forward forcing my legs and feet into motion.
Without being conscious of the fact, I began singing the song which had been echoing round and round my head most of the last week, “do you know where you’re going to, do you like the things that life is showing you, where you are going to, do you know?” It was as though I had heard the words for the very first time, I stop in mid -stride, pushing back my hair from my face almost frozen by the impact of the words hitting home within my consciousness as never before. I reached for the door arch way and steadied myself, my thoughts racing ahead of me I once more began moving towards the desk where my computer sat waiting. The deep feeling inside of knowing it was time for another day’s work to begin. I sat for a moment seeing my reflection in the window glass as I searched the early morning skies for inspiration and the strength to keep on.
My thoughts turned inward and before I knew it I was softly singing the words of a song, “Mahogany.” As I sang I listened to the words, as if giving them permission to provoke thoughts about my life, and the ultimate question, did I actually know where I was going to, and did I like what life was showing me? “Well I’m not sure, I think so,” I half answer the puzzle of the words of the song.
I listened as my voice filled the silence of the room, as I gently sang over and over the words “Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life are showing you? Where are you going too? Do you know?”
The theme from the film Mahogany has been a constant companion of late, ever since I had decided to take a chance and speak to someone about publishing this book. I had to admit I certainly didn’t know where life was taking me; all I knew was there was no going back. I have finally shut the doors on parts of me, which have been holding me back for a long, long time, or so I thought. My marriage of 23 years was over, my children grown, and me, well life was just beginning, so I thought. Even as I sat typing my thoughts, my life was being prepared and I sensed the stage was being set for the grandest adventure of all.
Even in the midst of my illness the preparation almost complete and the curtain is about to go up. Life was about to unfold anew. Isn’t this what I always wanted? I was single, free to do what I wanted when I wanted, no one to answer to! For a moment I sat frozen in time pondering that very thought. Was this what I had always wanted? Hadn’t I made my life exactly what I wanted it to be? Hadn’t I always been driven to follow my path, and compelled to search out the real reason why I was born? I never thought for one minute that my body would give in under the strain of the stress I was placing it under. Not for one minute did I ever think life would be like this!
I had searched for the answer for so long and I was so tired, tired of the searching, tired of the self doubt, tired of the loneliness and the feeling of not belonging anywhere. My thoughts spun swiftly swimming and swirling through the memories, which flooded into my mine. This world holds so much for us to experience, why is it some people appear to encounter one struggle after the other while others experience a life blessed? Why it is some appear to be so ill prepared for the experience we so loosely call life?
Choices, it’s all about choices I began to mutter to myself. I never was one to be able to deny the truth of what I felt inside, I could not do one thing and think another; something within me demanded congruency, no matter what the cost. I appear to be born with such a strong conscience that often my bold stance got me into all sorts of predicaments, just like now. A few years before I had become involved in what I loosely term spiritual practices, in other words I began consciously developing my skills and abilities related to my intuition and psychic abilities. At the time I desperately wanted to find where I fitted in this world, I thought at the time that it was the way to find my place in it all.
Now in hindsight in the year 2003, I understand that every human being at some time in their life enters on the journey; we simply do it using different mediums. Some use education, some religion, some drugs, some music, and some spirituality. However, when you get to the bottom line, we are all looking for the same thing, a way to get life to work, and a way to live in peace and fulfillment.
Our life journey is simply our souls trying to fill our inner need to come to peace. The call to evolve, to develop our understanding and to understand our truth and that every thing we experience is the result of the choices we make and the subtle subconscious needs and desires which influence our choices. If we are lucky age brings us closer and closer to self honesty and with the self honesty comes an unshakable trust in the truth of our intention and ourselves and in turn this leads us to live life in a much more peaceful manner. (If we are lucky!) It would seem however that there are some people who are not destined to become aware. There are others who seem to never ever wake to the other awareness; they just live a physical life.
These people are not compelled by the same drive to become better tomorrow than they are today, and for the most part they believe they are alone and when you die, your dead, and its that simple. And the irony of it all is that often a person who seeks self-awareness ends up married to someone who is not interested in anything to do with awareness. Angels with lead boots on, souls who seek awareness who bring earthly souls to their lives simply so they don’t fly off to the irrational unreality of a life like Alice in Wonderland.
About 15% of the populations are compelled to ask “WHY?” and the whole journey of life seems to be one self-development course after another. Every day is spent self-analyzing and searching the wisdom, which one-day will help us become more and more aware of why life is like it, is. People like me appear to be constantly challenged with the greatest obstacles, like being honest having integrity, compassion, tolerance and above all faith and trust.
We believe there is some universal plan, which binds us all together – every single person on earth – to some great plan of evolution. “Do you know were you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you?” I watch people around me astounded at the number who are just going through the motions of life, as though the destination is the important thing, but hang on, isn’t the journey the important part? Are you really living life or are you existing?” Do you enjoy what you do every moment of the day, or keep wishing you were somewhere else with someone else? If you do struggle, what is it you’re struggling with? Is it the search for love? Is it because you want more money, more power or more something than you have? Is it holding onto the pain of the past? Or in truth is it the eternal quest – the quest for freedom? Every thought you have creates your life and ultimately your imprisonment or your freedom.
What is freedom? For me freedom is life! It’s the ability to be oneself, the ability to stand in truth, the ability to love with respect and integrity, not only others but to love oneself. Humanity has searched throughout the ages, questing for enlightenment using mystic rituals and chants attempting to control the elements of life, which create our existence. Yet it is said, there is noting more dangerous than a free man! Why? A person who is free cannot be imprisoned; their soul is untouchable, as they have found the essence of detached attachment.
My wise friend, Arthur, once said, “The greatest secret to life is to learn to live it – simply that. Enjoy every moment as if it’s your last, spend time with people you love and show them you love them, walk in the sun and see the color of life, which surrounds you. Live life TRUITY embrace all it has to offer in its banquet,” he used to say. He taught me that when we live in truth we then live in freedom, and it’s from this freedom that we build solid lives that lead others by example. Until we become aware we have a choice, many of our decisions in life are made for the wrong reasons. We make them to please others, or because we think it’s what we have to do, often we don’t know we have a choice we simply do the best we can with what we have. Then when we look honestly at our lives shock hits, we realize we have not listened and honored the self and as a result often compromised our truth in order to have or feel safe or reach our goals.
I had now reached the time of self-honesty; it had been brought on me through the circumstances of being ill. One thing for sure you take yourself with you no matter where you go in life, and sometime the universe has to stop us in our tracks in order we re-evaluate our lives and in doing so make change s in our behavior and attitude. I had reached a point where I now had to face the realization that most of my life had been a lie, I had been in situations where I didn’t want to be, but had stayed because I didn’t think I had a choice. The result of this was now my body had become so stressed that my immune system had broken down, and I had contracted glandular fever and cat scratch fever, as well as something no one could identify. My life was falling apart around me, I could not go to work, I was alone and fate sure was going to give me just time to reconsider my choices and to let go of whatever needed letting go of.
There were days when I often felt overwhelmed with sadness and I knew a big part of my life was dying. I knew it was time for me to “wake up” and get on which whatever it was I had come into this world to do, I knew I could no longer ignore the calling. The awareness had stuck a resonance deep within me. I could no longer exist! Somehow I had to take back my life, find my path and above all I had to become responsible and then from there rebuild my life. Little did I realize that day just how far the journey was going to take me, or the enormity of the challenges I would endure. That Saturn energy in my birth chart, the teacher with the big stick, would accept nothing less than perfection from me in what was to come and my god what a journey it turned out to be.
“Ultimately I was to learn that the price for freedom and peace is high, I had to be prepared to face the deepest darkest corners of my soul and stand in all honesty unafraid of the challenge in order to reach my destiny. The place of ultimate power lies within, and so the journey must begin.
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“It is impossible for a human being to stand in the fire of passionWithout being consumed by the flames.” TRUITY
Email to a friend: 19th March 2003
Robert what is it that the world lives in such fear of stepping outside of the normal boundaries? Have you noticed how even every day people have difficulty being honest, and following through on commitments? I have been astounded at what I have experienced; it’s a wonder that anyone achieves anything in this world the way it functions. On the business side of things even though I have a financing contract for 5 million signed and assured in my hand that even my accountants will not help me through this difficult time. Is it because they can’t really understand how I have achieved the outcome?
I have come to a conclusion that all the hard work and the years of persistence and effort mean nothing when it comes to people parting with their money. Not only that but most people don’t give a dam about helping the world lift its game, and improve its ability to communicate, all they care about is the mighty $. What ever happened to society?
People look at me as though I am some sort of madwoman, just because I have lived my life with a passion to make this world a better place. And if just happen to be outside the norm they really view you with an eye of skepticism and you can almost see their thoughts of “where’s the butterfly net?” I can only conclude that I have defied the laws of what others thought was possible and as a result I scare the hell out of most people with my commitment and persistence. They can’t seem to handle that I am an ordinary person with an extraordinary commitment to do what I set out to do. The accountants on the other hand appear to be so small minded and so tiny in their vision that they even commented that because the investors are UK based there was no way of knowing if they are for real – can you believe that? In this day and age, where we live in a world of fast track communication and global technology the world still tries to function by old systems that just don’t allow any space for the efforts and the abilities of the individual. It seems everyone wants a guarantee in life, but there are no guarantees, just like there is no such thing as security. All the money in the world all the contracts, things and controls, can be blown away in a moment - bang gone in a flash, yet people hang on to things and the illusion of security. I don't know how anyone ever achieves anything, the way this world operates. I have always had the philosophies that if one door won’t open then try another door, just keep on till you get the recipe right.
Security can only come from our sense of inner confidence and trust it’s our ability to deal with whatever life hands us that guarantees success and fulfillment, and I don't think very many people realize that. It’s strange that there is no measure to value people any more, business has become dehumanized and with that so many fantastic opportunities go begging. If I had the ability to change one thing it would be this element of business.
What a bizarre world it is. For the first time in my life I have to hock my jewelry to pay the rent and for food. Yet when next week comes and the money is in my company bank account everyone will want to pat me on the back and say - well done - weren’t you lucky! I bet the first thing they will ask is “Now will you help me?”
Life sucks, and mostly the lack of integrity, business etiquette and vision in the average businessperson sucks. It would seem the world has it backwards, and has lost its sense of humanity where people value the contribution of the person. Red tape and systems rule, and it would appear that a person’s effort and integrity count for nothing.
After all these years of defying the odds, I have come to that conclusion. I don’t like the way people treat each other very much, there must be a better way. Think I will become a hermit and say, “stuff the world.” - At large. Love TRUITY
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