100's Articles
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First Light - New Life.
1994. it’s now the early hours of the morning, with a cup of tea in hand and trusty computer turned on I settle back preparing to write as my mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts and ideas ready to pour into the computer. The next chapters of the manuscript are forming, taking shape in my mind and pushing to come forth on paper, the days writing begins. In order for me to gain a different perspective of my words, I decided it would be a good idea to dictate my thoughts to audiotape as I write. When I listen to my words over and over it is easy to see subtle aspects that may require a little more explanation or an extra word here or there. I love to watch the sun rise over the sea, it’s the most awesome sight – an inspiration of life renewing itself and I feel blessed with the gift of watching the majesty of the universe unfold for another day.
For just a moment my attention is taken away from the scattered pages of the manuscript, as the first brilliant rays of the sun’s light burst forth in a cascade of golden beams of light over the horizon. The dining room where my computer sits overlooks the coastline of Queensland’s Gold Coast. I sit in awe at the spectacular beauty the dark sea is beginning to come to life, colors changing as the sun’s reflection dances through the waves merging with the flooding white froth, caressing the rock wall below my window. Off in the distance I can hear the drone of diesel engines, as the fishing trawlers move slowly up the Tweed River. The tide is jus t right for them to cross the bar and the deckhands busy themselves preparing for the day ahead. The hungry gulls squawk and screech, flying in circles as they follow the straggling team of tiny boats, out to sea.
“All right, time to work,” I muttered to myself, as once again the computer screen grabs my attention. For just a moment my body was filled with a feeling of, ‘is this ever going to be finished?” “Probably not” I mutter to myself, “A work in progress, yes that’s it life is a work in progress.” I struggled with my old maroon dressing gown, arranging it comfortably to cover my naked legs, as the day’s writing begins to flow from me, and I begin to read out loud the already completed pages of the manuscript.
As I began to read the strangest thing began to happen. From the moment my words began to break the stillness of the morning air. It may sound quite strange to the reader and it is my hope you will see the following with the humor it is intended. The professional guidance team told me that I am what is called a visual Linguist. The universe gave me quite a challenge when I was born “dyslexic.” I began to develop my ability to express by painting and drawing. Words defied my ability to write them coherently, so I just drew pictures of everything I wanted to express. However expressing with pictures was not enough for me, and from the painting came my desire and drives to find a way to communicate and create pictures with words. When you combine this with my passion to eliminate suffering in people’s lives, (including my own) then there is one huge push to go against the odds, and “Find a Way.” We all have gifts, precious and rare, writing and understanding people is mine, but just because I have developed this gift, it doesn’t mean it was easy. The challenge for me was to believe in myself, and just does it.
Life is often like a black comedy, my sense of humor involved even in the most dreadful times I have the ability to laugh at my self and turn hardship into valuable insights and use those to strengthen my resolve to achieve. I am according to intelligence tests, a Visual Linguist – word warrior, with genius levels of creativity. I have a vivid imagination, and that imagination serves to bring me a balance between the depth of insight and the day-to-day reality. When I read a book I see the story happening in my mind like a movie, in cinemascope and Technicolor. I have a sensory perceptual ability which is probably thousands of times that of the average person. I feel and experience life so powerfully that often being in the company of some people is almost unbearable. “A Sensate,” as the old terminology would call me. Psychic and intuitive to the extreme, life has held a challenge, for knowing what you know and feeling the world so intensely takes a great strength and good firm hold on sanity.
This morning however, as the words began to flow, somewhere off in the distance in the back of my mind I could hear the voice of John Clease, from Faulty Towers, reading my manuscript. It was just as though I was listening to a radio station. “God, I’m really cracking up,” I mumbled as a smile crossed my face. So with great amusement, it was on that day I had the realization, life really is like an episode of “Faulty Towers,” and “IT,” never does turn out quite what you expect “IT” to be. Often when you look back, in hindsight, all of the drama and a great deal of the chaos has been quite unnecessary and is all quite ridiculous. Yet I dared to question. “What is this mysterious ability we all have to communicate with our higher soul, the ability to communicate upon multidimensional planes where time does not exist and distance has no relevance to knowing what truth is?
” Most people would rather deny is presence in fear of being branded insane or even being other than normal, but we all have the same connections, some simply more developed than others. The answer – well all of the sensor information is simply the mind finding ways to safely communicate information and translate that information from the unconscious to the conscious. The problems begin when people don’t know how to understand what is happening or how to develop solid grounding in the midst of insight.
And so with humorous thoughts of life being like an episode of Faulty Towers running through the back of my mind, I began editing and re-typing my manuscript, one more time. And once again the manuscript began to change, as I searched for words to describe the depth of my understanding of why we are here, and how to turn life into a wondrous adventure, filled with every possible experience, manifesting everything you could ever desire.
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In The Beginning.
Little did I realize that in 1994, my journey was only just starting, I was naive enough to think that I had reached the destination, and that the worst was over. Finally free of a bad marriage, and answerable only to myself, I had to first learn to live life without a family to emotionally and physically support me and then I had to work out how I would do what I wanted to do!
If I had only known what lay before me, would I have walked this path? I am not sure I would have had the courage; however now I am here well I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. The person, who struggled to the computer desk plagued with some unknown mystery illness, was about to embark on the journey of a lifetime or maybe ten lifetimes all rolled into one.
Life today in 2003 bears no resemblance to the life I led back in 1994. When I think about it it’s even further removed than I ever could have imagined from the day in the operating theatre in 1976 when my life force left me and my world was rocked to the core by stepping through the veil of life and death.
In that moment of death my view of life in this world changed forever. With that experience my views, thoughts, and understanding of spirituality and the evolution of consciousness. I begged not to be sent back to this world, but was told the words, “you know you have free will, but you must go back and finish what you went into life to do.”
What is fulfillment? I have come to the conclusion it is different things to different people dependant upon what stage of evolution we are embracing. Today I am a very different person from the person who began this journey, I have finally the courage and knowing to be me, in every sense of the word, and life is just beginning.
I decided to rewrite my story, so the second edition of this story is very, very different to the first. For some strange reason many people have this inappropriate belief when we become aware or enlightened then life will be simple that noting will touch you and you manifest t his surreal reality to live in. There are those who would have you believe you just float around in this world where it would just be nice stuff. I want to tell you right now that this belief is of course are complete hogwash. You know it doesn’t matter how evolved we become, life still hands us the same challenges to face, I think in fact it actually hands you more, the only thing that changes is how we deal with the challenges.
I feel to warn the enthusiastic beginner, that the benefits, which come from self-awareness and personal development, are quite different to what people expect. If your life is not happy and fulfilling now, then be sure there is going to be a lot of changes before you find what you’re looking for! Things must fall apart for them to be rebuilt solid; it’s like building a house. If you build on lousy foundations then the house won’t be solid, and it will eventually cost you dearly. The foundations I am speaking of here are the ultimate foundation for everything in our lives – and that foundation is “TRUTH”-. Relationships improve, because you stop running all the old scripts, you enjoy each day as it comes and make every day something to remember, and the challenges which would have once sent me into a tail spin today have become just a mere irritation and inconvenience.
There is no easy fix in life, becoming self- aware is like those shampoo ads, “it won’t happen overnight but it will happen.” Your life and mine is a direct result of how we think, and process information, how we respond to circumstances and the choices we make. We can make informed choices, or we can simply run on autopilot and react to every little thing, it’s up to us. I would like to think that my role in writing this manuscript is to help you be aware that you have choices, and to show you that there are other ways of looking at life experiences, and to reassure you we often only see a tiny part of the picture. For the most part of our lives our actions are prompted by subconscious assumptions and presumptions and these are all fed by our insecurities, fears, beliefs and values and from all this cocktail of information we unknowingly make the choices which determine how and when our life will lead us.
The biggest problem we have as human beings is that we don’t know what we don’t know. We just do the best we can with what we have and blunder along, with all the past conflicts and confusions, and joys coloring our reality as we go.
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Acceptance, Recognition, Love, Security, Independence, or something else?When we break down the list written above, into sub categories we can further define areas they may influence in your life we can see just how complex our DRIVER’S can be. These (Can represent or link to subconscious thoughts such as) or may include for example: Exercise: For fun look at the list and then, 1 being lowest 9 being highest and see how you score. Acceptance I feel I belong
Circumstances or Change is beyond your influenceThe events in your life are a matter of fate or destiny I feel lovedThey understand me and what motivates meIt up to me, I am responsible for what I feel and how I reactI’m doing the right thing Recognition Wanting approvalFeeling powerfulFeeling successfulBetter than othersI have reached my goalRewardAcknowledgement by family and peers LoveSafety I am safe.NurturingPassionAcceptanceSecurity Providing support to othersI want my own wayHaving someone else being responsibleManipulative – you do what I wantSecurity I feel safeFinancial I am responsibleEmotional I am balancedPhysical I take care of my needsEnvironmental I careMoney I am a generous spiritStrength for other peopleNeed to controlNeed to be the bossNeed to be told what to doMake own decisionsIndependentMaking your own decisionsDoing what you want when you wantNot being responsible for other people Keeping your income all for yourselfHaving the means to live life to the fullestBeing wealthy feeling wealthy
Not wanting to trust other peopleNot letting people know who you areNot sharing I don’t like sharingOr something else?Living on emotionsLiving drama every day of your lifeWanting to be free of the drama of relationshipsWanting to make a differenceWanting to help othersWanting others to help meGiving time unconditionallyNeeding of those around meOther…………….
Success can happen through disasters. As I said previously, my journey has been one of incomprehensible hardship to get to here, so why did I do it? I had the courage to believe in a vision in a destiny and that vision was so strong that it kept me going no matter what challenge life handed me to test my truth. Everything in my life that was not truth was broken away bit by bit, friends left, business failed, people let me down breaking promises time after time, and yes it knocked me down, but the power of my vision would pick me right back up again, and with no money, no help, just pure will and courage I kept going. I realized the truth of the law of attraction; I realized one key that I had not truly understood before. That if you think positive and still have fear the fear will generate the outcome, what you feel is more important than what you are thinking. The only things that can be destroyed in your life are things, which are not real; I want you to think carefully about that. Turn everything that happens to you into an opportunity, look for the silver lining. Sometimes it’s hard, but I can guarantee there is one they’re somewhere. You just have to look hard enough and broaden your thinking to step out of always grabbing on to the negative.
Major upheavals often pre-empt a choice of change of life direction.
Common mistakes:
· Not knowing how to read the balance sheet and not double checking the figures. When I lost my first company, in my heart I knew it was because I lacked basic skills. · I trusted other people to do what I could not do - the result was disaster. · Sending an email while you’re still angry – or trying to sort out problems while you’re angry. · Also because everyone told me I was new to business I felt I had to take their advice, after all they were the professionals I was only a beginner. · I also went against my gut feeling taking the advice of so called experts, who it turned out had never developed anything, and only learnt from text books. · People who should have known better told me to give up that my vision would never happen. I wonder how they feel today. Rather foolish I would imagine.
Ultimately your vision for your life cannot impinge upon any other person. It is your vision and only yours. When you expect other people to be a part of you vision, your life you deny them freedom to choose. You can wish something for yourself, the thing to remember is that unless those around you are in harmony or alignment with that ~ they will leave or withdraw from aspects of your life. THE NEXT LEVEL; I have always had a belief that every person has an inbuilt compass, one which directs us to what I call our true North, or true self. If we stay aligned to that True North, then life flows, opportunities present and life is good. For each of us “Our True North” is based upon our inner core values. Our Core Values are the elements which encompass our TRUTH our soul’s values. These are values are honesty, integrity, courage, commitment, compassion and ………….Motivation CD It is this compass that keeps me physically safe all the time, it is this compass that I now live my live by. I no longer give the power of my life to others just in order I feel like I belong. I have walked away from friendships that did not accept me for me. I no longer allow people to ride on my coat tails; I encourage them to walk alone on their own two feet. When ever issues or challenges arise in our lives it’s often because we have lost our bearings and our subtle Driver’s having influenced our choices and persuaded us to deviate from our basic core value set. The only way to begin to unravel the tangled web of Driver confusion is to begin to watch or observe the choices you make in your own life. A typical situation: You are so angry with your partner that you know if you open your mouth to speak, you are going to regret it, so you just go off and sulk? Think about it? Or do something soul uplifting, like a walk on the beach, or watch a movie? Self EVALUATION! What you need to think about and ask yourself: How did this situation come to this? When did you first notice you were feeling off centre over this issue? What should you have found a way to discuss? Why did you avoid discussing it? What is it your wanting your this person to provide, (love, acceptance, support, money) that they aren’t? Who are you expecting this person to be? When ever there is a situation like this there are often conflicting needs, in other words you may not have spoken up because you were afraid of rejection, or afraid of the honesty of their answer. Fear is often a very influential partner in subtly driving our choices. Question: O.K you’ve done some self evaluation so how do you deal with the issue, or problem before it gets to the point of explosion. Looking at an average person’s life, it’s easy to see that what we value, what we believe and what we expect of life create how we handle life’s choices. For example; when you were 17 you already knew that people with a good education were far more successful and earned better income, but you didn't consider yourself very smart and you were lazy and just didn't want to be bothered with the study so you dropped out of College and just bummed about, surfing and hanging out. Dad paid the bills for a while, but eventually that stopped and life just became harder and harder. Now 15 years later, you have a basic job that pays a basic wage, and you really want to get ahead in life, however you find that in order to get that promotion you want you just have to do the hard yards and go back to study, your priorities have changed now your future is more important than chilling out! You expect life to bring you good things but you’re just not prepared to feel the discomfort of stretching yourself to achieve them. So what happens in your life? It’s your choice if you believe you can ~ you will! Our priorities create our lives and they underlie the Driver’s pushing us towards, what is important and what is not. So if your priority is to be wealthy for example, what aspect of your life are you willing to sell to get it? Buying and selling focus is normal, you work harder, but your family misses out, and you develop an ulcer, but you have the money to go on holiday, etc, etc. Priorities often can be influenced by childhood experiences, by emotional vulnerabilities by beliefs, fears, and values. For example; someone who comes from a background of poverty may be either determined to have a better life, and set priorities which support and create opportunities, or they may believe that they are locked into being a victim and their priorities may be emotionally influenced and driven causing them to miss one opportunity after the other due to lack of self worth or confidence. Ultimately all our priorities are influenced according to our perception of our life experience. One thing I know for sure though life pain and suffering is one hell of a motivating force. And sadly for a lot of people life only changes when it hurts to the point you feel like your dying inch by inch, then and only then do we reach out and look for help. Somewhere in our minds we weigh up the pain of what is happening now with our fear of change and learning something new, and for most of us there comes a point of tolerance where we just can’t take any more, and we just want the pain to stop.
We live in an age where often our lives are influenced in every direction by a lethal cocktail of Sex, Drugs and Drama add to that emotional insecurity combined with what I call the quick fix mind set of a disposable society where no one takes responsibility for their choices and everything is someone else’s fault and you sure have a time bomb just waiting for somewhere to happen. Media would have you believe that if your not pretty enough or thin enough then go and spend $ or indulge in something to get your mind off the real issue and it will fix everything. That is until the credit card bill comes in. Every single person on this earth at some time buys and sells aspects of their selves in order to not have to face the underlying vulnerability and the reality that our priorities are screwed and its time to rethink our lives. Keeping the balance is the challenge, prioritizing your day to take care of your own needs, spend quality time with people you love as well as focus on your career or business idea is not always easy. It’s all a balancing act really, yet the balancing act comes with a warning. My mother always said no matter what you do in life, if your honest, have integrity and respect then you never have to look over your shoulder wondering when that tiny lie is going to blow your life to pieces. So often people are foolish enough to tempt fate by believing they can trade with the truth, and any fool should know if you go against what your heart and soul holds true and dear then you’re in for one heck of a lesson, just ask Bill Clinton. Our core values are who we are; they are what set our TRUE NORTH! They are the self imposed unbreakable honesty, respect, integrity, or any of the core values then sure enough fate will at some point jump up and whack you round the head. One thing I have learned for certain is that in order to achieve ANYTHING, our core values must stay intact. Truth for example has a way of sooner or later coming to the surface and when it does, the ripples it makes can turn into TSUNAMI’S wiping out years of achievement and everything that goes with it. Assuming and Presuming; These are the two capital crimes of our society. People jumping to conclusions without ever knowing all the facts, people assuming they know the other persons motivation, story and details, when they have never bothered to stop and ask! Boundaries: Boundaries are something that not many people are good with. Having boundaries requires that you have to communicate clearly with other people. They state what you will accept and won’t accept in your life; if your boundaries are not clear in your own mind then you can’t communicate them to others. If people are living in codependent situations boundaries can be a minefield. In codependency boundaries are often set to control the behavior of other people rather than empower your life to support your beliefs. When this happens it leads to arguments and problems in the household and in your life. One thing for sure is that it’s very uncomfortable and stressful when people to live in the same space if they don’t agree on a foundation set of common boundaries. For example, one person may like lots of personal space; the other may not need this and not understand the other person’s need for being alone. Relationships that work are in fact a complex dance of boundaries, communication and respect to ensure that the primary needs of everyone are taken into count without compromise. It’s a win-win situation if you are clear in your communication and you ask for what you want, without emotional manipulation. Are you holding onto things that the universe wants you to let go of? Are you holding onto harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities that you have become so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe this one thing.............Only your heart and soul can answer that, sometimes it may seem that you need to let go when in fact it is just your doubt that is causing your obstacles, fate will keep challenging you if you don’t believe you can have the best. But one thing I can say definitely is that the universe will never take away something without giving you something better in its place. We can either be open to following our heart, and facing our fears and inadequacies and creating the life we have always dreamed of, or we can settle for the status quo. Never become that unique person who sits deep in our soul. What ever you decide it’s alright – there is no right or wrong in this life, it is merely a journey of experience. You can fly with the eagles, or walk with the sparrows – the choice my friend is up to you! Published 2004 originally by TRUITY; Truity Holdings Pty Ltd Brisbane Australia. www.wanabelong.com www.truity.com.au www.truity.net.
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It’s a mind over matter exercise, when we know we only need 52cts an hour to live, you automatically find your body relaxing and you stop panicking. It’s only a small amount, and so the effect it has mentally is quite astounding. For example to have a million $ all you need to do is sell 1million things for a $. It’s always the simplest ideas that make the most money and it’s that simple. Ask for what you want! Don’t emotionally manipulate people to get what you want: Be upfront and make sure you are upfront when you want help or support. People can’t read minds, and most of us don’t like to be emotionally manipulated by other people and will back right away if we feel this is what is happening. Look at what you are doing – who you are doing it for and ask yourself why you are doing it. Have a vision board with your dream home and other things on it, create your world, but create it on the best energy you can, the energy of love not struggle! If you’re being irrational and emotional, stop. Go to the doctors get a check up; make sure your hormones are ok. And then look at the issues, which are driving the emotional crisis! Issues, which drive emotions, are generally fear based. Are you afraid you can’t take care of yourself? Are you afraid no one will love you? Are you afraid that you will live in poverty the rest of your life? Are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of Living? The list goes on and on. If there’s a hidden emotional agenda involved stop and rethink the situation. You have a choice how you live your life, and the only time we are a victim of our selves is when we react to situations without thinking, and only you can change that. Are you behaving this way because you want attention? Do you want approval? Do you want love? Are you trying to make up for being a rat bag? Why do you do what you do? In spite of what many people think there is a reason for everything. Motivation: One of the hardest things to do is be honest about our motivation. That’s because behavior learned can often be inappropriate behavior, and we don’t know or understand we are even doing what were doing. What motivates you? Is it the thrill of reaching the goal? Is it being the best in your field? Is it helping others? Is it money? Is it having other people telling you that you’re doing well? Is it simply the fact you set your own course and look forward to overcoming the next set of obstacles? For some people it’s important to have control, for others they dislike control and live in a constancy of chaos. Which way is up? When people lose a job, or a partner usually their confidence is shattered and they sometimes have the thought process include anger, self abuse and often destructive behavior the emotions and fears drive our decisions and when our choices are based upon confusion it’s easy to spin around in a negative cycle for days, months and even years. We justify ourselves by telling ourselves that its someone else’s fault and may be I wasn’t worth it, may be I shouldn’t try so hard, may be there is something wrong with me.
“The important thing is not what happens to us in life, but how we handle it.” We all feel everything listed above, we have all done it to others, we have had it done to us, and we are here on this planet having a physical experience which comes with all manner of pleasure and grief. The general population will have you believe that when something ends, job or relationship, or business that we have failed. I have found the truth to be the exact opposite of this. Life experiences are the source of each of us developing our quality selves as human beings. We come into life ill prepared for the rejection, the comparison, the manipulation the lack of validation, however if we are lucky, if we have a sense of truth then we learn and develop the skills of emotional intelligence. We learn to have an I can attitude, we learn to know how to stop reacting and begin consciously acting on our inner encyclopedia of life experience and get a positive result.
When you look at life honestly it’s easy to see that all things must end; this is life, all things, which have a beginning must have an ending. After all would you want to stay in kindergarten or preschool your whole life? Life is about progressing in awareness and growing and developing a people. For me when something ends be it a job or a relationship then first thing I do is take time to be self honest as to why it happened then accept that I have learned all I can from what happened, and thirdly to let go and trust that there is a reason for everything and that life will continue. I keep going knowing my values will not be compromised and that my principles are intact and conscience clear. Then I take a deep breath get back up and step up to the next life experience.
Every experience I have ever had, has taught me about me, what I want, what I like, and above all that I am able to have a good life and I am worth the best. The hardest lesson of all for me has been to trust myself, to trust my own judgment, because everyone in my world kept telling me I didn’t know what I was doing and that I should conform. Life has taught me never go against my gut feeling and my gut knowing – if in doubt, don’t do anything, just wait and watch for clearer understanding. The hard knocks of life were always the end result of not listening to the truth I knew inside. One of the biggest problems with Choices is we often are unaware of the hidden emotional agendas that drive them. I have learnt to recognize my own hidden agendas, and issues such as not wanting to take responsibility for myself, wanting to manipulate other people, wanting control, just to name a few are no longer a part of my life. Today I live my life, not someone else’s. If we are insecure we will look to others for their approval, it’s a natural human tendency to do this. Do you look for reassurance in other people? Life is about learning to identify our weakness then to develop skills to turn our weakness to become positive strengths; it’s about finding our good qualities and our not so good, and turning every aspect of us into a positive. The only way this can be achieved is by gentle self-honesty, by taking the time to understand what motivates us and why, by growing new skills and having courage. Do you know that the average mind has 8-1 negative to positive thoughts, so generally we beat ourselves up without even knowing it. Our mind chatter brings us to experience what we think about, even if it never physically happens. Life for me has been an incredible journey, one where I have been totally human, totally vulnerable, totally dependant, totally independent, totally confused, and everything else you can think to add to the list. Yet each time life handed me a curved ball, I had the courage to get back up and have another go. My aims and ambitions just grew and grew with each experience and as each obstacle disappeared so the sense of knowing that I could make a difference grew and I knew that it would continue to do so as long as I had the courage to be self honest and to be accepting and gentle with myself.
To live life with GRACE. Gratitude, Respect, Acceptance, Compassion and Empathy!
Often in my life I have been forced to stop take stock of where I am, what I am doing, and ask the question of myself. “Am I standing in my truth or am I compromising who I am?” In business I compared myself only to the people who had ethics and yet had still reached a high plateau of success. I asked myself what did they have I didn’t have? (Besides money) What did they know that I didn’t know? And from there I struggled and stretched until I owned that quality and I just kept aiming for the stars. I remember my mother writing in my autograph book when I was 13, “Aim for the stars but don't step on anyone to get there.” And not only that “if you aim for the stars you must just be lucky enough to hit the moon.” I began with nothing but an idea, and courage; I didn’t have anyone to help me, or to give me a silver spoon. I did have the quality of courage, commitment, and the vision of what I wanted to achieve. So many people have ideas or dreams, and thinking other people will support them share their dream with other people only to be bashed in to oblivion with, “what makes you think you can do that?” or “Well you know what the chances are of you succeeding don't you?” Well-meaning folk, who live in fear of success, fear of not enough to go round, and the need to control and limit rather than empower achievement.
As a child and an adult I was dyslexic, today this does not restrict my life in any way. I was uneducated, introverted, totally lacking confidence, bad tempered, terrified of life and I was so lonely because I did not belong, I had no sense of anyone understanding me or connecting to me. The one light in the darkness was that I had been born with a gift, the gift was an inner knowing that I was born to do something special and that one person can make a difference. My anger was simply my own frustration and confusion which grew as a result of peoples ignorance, I found people could not accept or nurture me when I needed strength life seemed to beat me down some more. The harshness of the world tore at my soul until I had the courage to begin to find a way to firstly understand why people behaved the way the do and then secondly how I could help people develop an awareness based upon their individual life experience. Even as a child I was confused by the way people treated each other, life wasn’t supposed to be like that and I was determined to find a way to help stop the violence. Or at least help people become aware that they are not victims and they have a choice.
The Power of Choice; The choices we make every minute of our lives are driven by our agendas. If we are emotionally co-dependant then that will color our decisions and influence our choices, just as being afraid will restrict our choices. We often simply live by one reaction after the other, rather than conscious actions. So how do we make choices, which empower us? Choices, which do not cause us, harm? The answer is simple. These Principles do not only apply to business ventures, they apply to the person who we want to become. We must first strive to become the person, and then the rest will follow:
· Firstly envision the person you want to become, identify the qualities that person will have, and then learn all you can about how to own the skills to become that competent person. Write a list! Find a role model, someone who inspires you. Did you know that it is impossible for us to achieve wealth for example if we believe all wealthy people are crooks? What ever we respect we can achieve, it’s that simple. · Secondly don’t share your thoughts with people who are not 100% supportive. There are very few people in this world who understand the power of manifestation. And very few who will totally support you to achieve your dreams without messing things up with negatives. · Thirdly. Don’t try to run before you can walk, it takes years to develop the skills to achieve your goals, and a giant redwood didn’t grow in a day. Be prepared to go the distance and do what ever it takes. So many people give up, just when they are about to succeed. · Do something every day towards your goal, don’t miss a day. 27 years ago I had an idea, a vision, 1984 I began writing my first book, In Search Of Truth. I had never used a computer before and I was dyslexic, did it stop me? NO! I sat at the computer for a minimum of one hour every day, without fail. I cried, I got angry, but I eventually mastered it, and that was an old dos machine not a windows easy…
Do everything you do with GRACE. Develop a generous spirit, emotionally, mentally and physically. Give respect to everyone, no matter who it is. (Suspend judgment – it does wonders for relationships) Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can. Have compassion for all people, animals and life as a whole. Walk a mile in my shoes, have empathy – not sympathy. People want you to listen, they don’t want your sympathy, they want to know you understand, be empathetic.
My mother Marjorie had a saying she would say whenever she saw someone disadvantaged, “there but for the grace of God go I.” To this day, whenever I see a disaster on television, a person in suffering, anything that affects the quality of our lives, I still find myself saying that in my mind. I am thankful for my spirit of strength. We so often forget to be thankful for what we have.
With my project, people thought I was crazy; they openly condemned me for taking such a view of life. I was told I was unrealistic, Idealistic, and Ultraistic to name a few things. All around me people lacked courage to stand bye me to support and encourage me, but I kept going. Each time something didn’t work I asked myself, what is the bigger picture, what next? And I kept going. I kept learning every day, I taught myself to be computer literate, and I developed skills I thought were impossible. I started out learning by listening to tapes and watching videos because I had so little literacy skills. If I can achieve what I have achieved, so can you, there is no difference between you and me. I admit I view the world from a different perspective to most people, I live to inspire others, to help people achieve, to give the strength and courage to people to try. Every day I see so many unfulfilled dreams in people simply because they don’t believe strongly enough that miracles can and do happen. Yet babies are born every second, flowers bloom, the sun comes up, sadly people often believe fulfilling successful lives only happens to other people.What inner (often subconscious needs) drive your choices? These choices are driven by *Emotional needs * Physical needs * Psychological needs and * Environmental needs. Below is a list of things I find most common in peoples lives I would like you to take a moment and consider how these play a part in your life choices: What motivates you - Is it the need for?
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You see when your stressed your body produces chemicals in response to your thoughts, so when your stressed out of your brain the body responds by over producing hormones which are destructive when produced in excess, like adrenalin. Why does an affirmation work? It works because it keeps them mind from thinking on the negative. It distracts so the mind can relax and calm itself and produce a balance of hormones during which time the body can heal itself. It’s that simple. O.K by now you’ve got the hand of letting go and stopping struggling so we can get on to some more practical tools to aid in the reinventing of your life. The universe needs a plan don’t focus on how you got here, the face is you’re here as unpleasant as it is. Stop looking back, keep looking forward and understand you can do it one inch at a time. You can reinvent your life you know you can. Who do you want to be? What qualities do you want to possess as a person? What do you admire in others, who are your role model? When you focus on the “whom” the “what” takes care of itself! Natural Law! There is one thing I have found in my life to be an absolute truth, and that is we can only achieve and keep what we admire and respect and that also relates to how we think about what we admire and achieve. The Law of Attraction is ~ what you think and feel you will experience, and keep experiencing. If our lives become something we don’t respect we will subconsciously sabotage that identity or relationship. Make an identity wish list! – Who do you want to be? What is that person like, are they considerate, loving, tolerant, artistic, creative, passionate, fit, healthy, intelligent, gentle, strong, respected by other people, trustworthy, wealthy? If you don’t have a role model then find one. Think of a person who you respect that has become successful. Now write a list of the characteristics that person has which you admire. When you compare yourself with that person, what qualities do you need to develop in yourself? It could be you need to be a little more particular about the way you present yourself; you may need to get fit or lose weight. You may need to learn to be assertive rather than aggressive for example! Now write a list of what you like about yourself as you are now. What are your qualities that give you respect and consider being strength? O.K. Now you have found your role model and you know what you admire about them. So how do you need to develop yourself to become more like them? Write a list. Don’t be afraid, no one else has to see the list it’s for your eyes only! Be self-Honest, but be careful not to put yourself down. Do you need to take more trouble with how you dress and present yourself in public? Do you need to be more honest and less manipulative? Do you need to have more courage? Do you need to be more proactive? Do you need to be able to express your emotions more clearly and show people around you that you care and love them? Do you need to become a little more independent? Do you need to become a little more Interdependent? Do you need to deal with issues of co-dependence? So you now have identified qualities, which you want to develop to support you to improve your life and give strength for you success, what do you do next? BEWARE of the pitfalls: As you begin to work with yourself - Don’t look for validation of your actions or life from other people. Because you won’t get it, if you’re moving a head happily often people around you feel jealous, or betrayed, strange as it sounds its true. You must hold the vision strong and clear in your head and heart of who and what you want to be. Very few people can be sincerely happy for someone else getting life back on track. Sadly a lot of people actually like to think your down and struggling, it gives them something to think and gossip about. Be Prepared; You must understand that if you want to be a musician, it takes time, you must learn the skills you need to do the job, what ever you want to achieve, you have to be a willing student of your own life. Keep it to yourself: Don’t make the mistake of telling everyone around you what you’re doing; people will think your nuts! Not only that but did you know that often people close to you can actually become a barrier to your achieving your goal of a new start and a new you! People feel secure when nothing changes in their lives. Those people close to you may not really want you to change, because if you change and improve your life, they might have to do something with theirs. If you have a dream of being someone, doing something special, more often than enough the answer you will get is not what you want to hear, far too often people just agree with you but you know they are just giving lip service, and if what you want to achieve is out of the norm then your bound to be told to wake up to yourself, get a job and accept that life is how it is. If you want to discuss what you are doing to improve your life, see a consultant, see a councilor or psychologist, someone independent of your situation as they have no emotional involvement in your situation and can allow you to talk without adding emotions and their own value based input into your journey. The sweetest revenge is to have a successful happy life. Look in the Mirror; Take a good look in the mirror and look for things you like in yourself. It won’t hurt a bit. If you don’t like what you see then get a plan and change it!If you are overweight then makes a sensible plan to get your body back in shape, and just do something towards that goal every day. If you are too thin and haggard, then also get a plan and move towards your ideal weight each day, exercise, do palates or yoga something gentle to get your body back working for you. Make your plan achievable; just do one thing towards each goal every day. EVERY DAY! You may have decided that you want to become a social worker, or psychologist for example, well we know these things can happen overnight, but with a bit of persistence they can happen so break your plan down into bite-sized pieces. It’s ok to dream big: I started TRUITY when I was in my forties; I could hardly read and write, I am dyslexic but that has not stopped me. Why hasn’t my learning disability stopped me? The desire to fulfill my destiny is stronger than the pain of learning how to overcome it. Every day since I wrote my personal mission statement all those years ago, every day I have put in motion something, it could be writing a poem, taking a photo, emailing someone who needs help, I have taken one tiny step after the other, without ever giving up on my direction or my belief in what I was born to do. Remember; An oak tree does not grow overnight! Change takes time, and it takes courage and it takes commitment and effort. If you want to study you may need to find out what forms of government support there is for you to study, how many types of study are there, how you can earn an income and still study. Remember: You can work and study part time; there is no law, which says that you have to do it all overnight! It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to do what you plan to do the key here is that your mind, body and soul is moving forward into a new future. Day to Day: Dealing with the practical every day issues can sometimes feel overwhelming. Make sure you have support of one or two good friends that you can have some fun with go for walks with and just chill out with them, lots of laughter is good for the soul. Avoid alcohol and drugs even coffee and tea can induce anxiety if over consumed. Be strong and have courage, stay focused and be determined to GET A LIFE – Remember: - YOU’RE COMING BACK – BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER! Keep moving forward no matter what challenges come your way. There will be days when you just want to crawl under a rock and forget the world. Believe me I know what it’s like, but that’s when you must have the courage to keep up talking yourself. Positive self talk and being thankful is essential. It’s ok to acknowledge the fact that things are CHALLENGING and that right at this minute it’s not easy, but tomorrow it will be better. Don’t deny, acknowledge what your feeling, all of it. Acknowledge the anger the frustration the hurt and the fear. It’s by acknowledging it that the power of it will disappear. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable, and yet know you have a soul of great courage and strength, and that you can make your life better – it just will take you taking care of yourself, and taking each day at a time. Count your blessings! It’s true – my mother taught me something early in life, that when you are feeling sorry for yourself and thinking your life is a mess, just look about you. Open your eyes and take a good look at other people’s lives. My mother always said the best way to forget your troubles is to find someone else who needs help more than you. Go and volunteer at a hospital, help the aged or the homeless. It surely gets your mind of your own troubles, when you see what other people are dealing with. Count your blessings, I have always found that I may not have all I want, but I seem to always have what I need. Fate and friends have been there at critical times, and if many have turned their backs because on you it’s not because they didn’t love you it was because they don’t know how to deal with what you are going through. It is good to remind yourself when things are bad that your family and friends still love you, they often just don’t know how to show you they love you. One day at a time can sometimes be one minute at a time! MAKE Goals and Life MANAGEABLE! If you work out how much money you need for a year it usually makes you feel it’s all too hard, it’s just hopeless. Fear and panic, strike hardest when we try to look into the future ~ you can focus on what you want, that is asking the universe to provide, then the hardest thing is to trust and believe it will come to you. So how can you make it less overwhelming? You know how much you need for a year? Now bring it down to a month? And I bet its still allot of money am I right? Now break it down to a week? Still overwhelming? Now break it down to a day, and now an hour? And if you need to work out how much money you need to earn a minute in order for you to cope. This theory can be applied to all types of difficulties, even giving up drugs or alcohol can be done one second at a time. After all the seconds keep connecting and before you know it, a week has gone and then a month and then a year, and looking back you will say, “I did it!” Thinking this way brings things back into perspective, it allows your mind to think ~ I am safe right now! ~ it allows you to step out of the negative thinking patterns.
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